It does sound like some rituals may be sneaking through (primarily checking compulsions). Instinct tells people with OCD to avoid or run away from the things they fear and they erroneously believe that this is possible. I believe they are sometimes afraid they might ‘snap,’ but they see nothing inherently wrong about their thoughts. I went to my Md. I have thoughts of killing and hurting a loved one. And because of the reassurance I come off as a narcissist when in fact I don’t care about me but how if I do something wrong it will affect my family and friends – and it is such hard work to be my friend. This does sound like it could be OCD. It was, “and is”, horrifying to think that. my family members are warm-hearted people.the more they are kind to me, the more the thoughts flash through my minds and make me suffer. Can you please tell me why you think a nightmare would trigger these thoughts in her. It’s frustrating. I can’t Do anything to make things better but God I wish I could hurt someone sometimes. But, as soon as I left the situation, the thoughts came back. An intrusive thought is an unwelcome, involuntary thought, image, or unpleasant idea that may become an obsession, is upsetting or distressing, and can feel difficult to manage or eliminate. It is here that therapists are called upon to show their flexibility and creativity. The thoughts are going to happen, I accept that. I had trouble with this and it got to the point where I started to look for a weapon. When riding in the car as a passenger, fear of grabbing the steering wheel and causing an accident. I have been on it 3 .5 weeks and it started about 1 week ago. II am so SICK of being afraid of others and myself. Like his life affects my completely. That means it can be fixed right? They need to overcome the idea that, “If I think it, it must be real.” It should be noted that people who suffer from these thoughts have no history of violence, nor do they ever act out on their ideas or urges. These would include intrusive unpleasant thoughts, unceasing doubt, guilt fears of being insane, and crushing anxiety. it is making me slowly feel like i want to do it, and i am becoming desensitized to the word “kill”. I found that accepting my thoughts and just thinking them makes the anxiety lighten a little bit, but I’m still so terrified of acting on these urges. When you hear "OCD," you probably think about a serious anxiety disorder with physical compulsions, or about how wacky you are for wanting to keep your bookshelf alphabetized, depending on your level of knowledge. I am a long time sufferer of OCD. Bad thoughts and images can sometimes just pop up spontaneously. I learned to control it up to a point, thinking blank thoughts or singing really loud sad songs in my head. I think I’m a sick person and don’t even deserve to live. Never seek reassurance. Help? Based on your description, this sounds much more like OCD than depression. Oh and I usually have a headache with all of the feelings. Finally,after my third babe was born this winter I reached out and got help. It was terrible I kept ruminating over it asking people if I was a bad person and everything that comes along with it!!! She is everything to me. Obsessions (by definition) consist of unwanted thoughts, impulses, or images. I think that I will Ocfoundation.org has a good list of OCD treatment centers and specialists. (I probably don’t sound like one because I keep proofreading my posts for grammar problems- very OCD-ish! I am only 12 years old and I’m just been freaking out over me thinking About hurting/killing people. Note that no one does assignments such as these until they are ready for them. I’ve owned firearms for 25 years and became horrified that if that guy from Ft. I just want to cry. Many of the good OCD self-help books also have sections specific to aggressive obsessions, so you might also want to take advantage of those types of resources. Dr. Seay, No harm was done to her I’m sure she just thinks I’m as crazy as I think I am.I just wanted the thought out of my head but u would.NEVER inflict harm.on.her or anyone to prove a point. Hi I am 12 years old and I love to hang out with my 5 year old cousin. What is the next step I should take in my self-treatment. Im 34 and I feel like I have nothing to offer like everyone else around me. I want to talk about a few things that worry me and whether these are normal parts of OCD? I got help and im so much better now but they will always return every so often and it makes me sick to think I can think these things about people I love so much. @Vanessa If you’re looking to go the self-help route, see my post on books related to OCD: http://www.steveseay.com/ocd-books-websites/. I am on medication and have been in therapy and all you discussed in the post was explained to me by my therapist. i dont want to hurt anyone or myself, and i want these thoughts to stop. I feel like there is this tiny evil aura in my head pushing me down, and I feel like I’m drowning. What I came up with was to listen to music that I enjoyed, exercise, and writing in a journal. i really love people and animals especially i want to be vet and provide care not harm but im scared to reach out for therapy as it may be a detirrient (pardon the spelling) to colleges and clinics also im so embarassed and ashamed of the thoughts as well as afraid. I avoided my puppies and didn’t want my husband to go to sleep until after i did because I thought he wasn’t safe. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org; Northpoint Recovery. I feel crazy! I agree, it is such a relief to read others experience the same. When I have these thoughts it’s just the act that I see nothing before or after. Find a local therapist or doctor to help guide you through treatment. Everyone said I was being ridiculous- I finally went to my doctor who instantly told me i was suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and probably ocd thoughts. I realized that I somehow needed to release my obsessions in a safe environment and not suppress them. For instance, I have a particular fear that when my baby cries, I will suddenly snap because that is how the people who inflict harm on their infants snap. Strength comes when we’re connected and working together. How is she now? (Meds haven’t helped before, and I’m afraid to tell my therapist about these thoughts and how I feel towards them.not because if she will judge, but if she will inform the authorities if she thought i was a threat). I apologize, as this will be long – i cant sleep and this may help to ease my mind-I’m 25 years old and have been a worrier as long as I can remember. I always get a bit anxious when my menstrual cycle hits, but I had not dealt with the thoughts since then. hello, I am a 19 year old mother to a beautiful 6 month old girl. I know I would never do such things against anyone, especially the loved ones, but these thoughts is driving me crazy and making me doubt myself. I’m on.meds but I need talk.therapy and ughhh its just terrible. I then have an anxious thought that says if my baby keeps crying, I will surely snap. So the difference in Harm OCD isn’t the thoughts themselves but rather the reaction to these thoughts. She is a sweet, kind hearted girl that has never thought things like this before. But now, ever since losing a religion and my moral compass.. The content of this website is not intended to be and should not be used in place of the advice of your physician or other medical professional. Licensed Psychologist (561) 444-8040, Posted by Steven J. Seay, Ph.D. on Jun 23, 2012 in Harm-Related Symptoms, OCD | 191 comments. I have just started getting the thought like would i hurt my baby, because i am pregnant. Last year I watched one of those gore videos from isis and felt very bad and started to think if that happen to my mom, which is the person I love the most in this world. That will be horrible for my family and me; they will suffer because of what I did and I will suffer knowing what I did to them and to my victim. Fortunately those thoughts are starting to get more under control but now I’m being hit by disturbing thoughts of a different nature. It is a NIGHTMARE,and it makes me feel SO alone at times, because I’m scared to talk about it with ANYBODY. I am had thoughts of just losing my cool and people getting hurt in the process and it’s like I don’t have any control over those thoughts. They seemed to be different topics. Seeing this makes me feel hope! When I talk to people about it, I slowly forget about it. I was thinking that becoming crazy killer until yesterday. The best time to take action would be now. And I feel like telling my parents so I can go to therepy but I’m scare they will think of me different, get mad. I have no money to see a therapist so I rely on online help.I try to portray a strong person but behind closed doors Im a wreck. I love them all dearly and I wonder why and what makes me think these horrifying thoughts. I m really suffering. I am a nurse and am hypersensitive about what I feel. This is certainly not as good as it gets–it sounds like you’re still getting continually beaten down by your intrusive thoughts. Fear of drowning your child while swimming or giving him/her a bath (, Fear of getting angry and shaking your child to death (. I cannot find any resources for helping someone through something like this. Is this true? I get mental feelings like I’m gonna hurt someone like I’m not myself and it scares me to death! I’m sitting in bed at 3 am reading this after googling trying to figure out what’s wrong w me….I was diagnosed w OCD when I was 14…I’m 32 now and this is the kinds of thoughts I’m having exactly! I now have tendencies also with checking my alarm clock. Now I am 23, taking OCD/anxiety medication and seeing a therapist getting neurofeedback. Hi, I am 45 years old and I have had horrific fears of hurting others, mine mostly involves knifes or other sharp objects, scissors etc. I thought it was PPD. You can also use a full address for the most accurate results. Also, can you give me a few ways of handling spontaneous intrusive thoughts in a non-avoidant, non-neutralising way? With each such cycle, my confidence is getting lower and I feel more and more hopeless in beating this problem and sometimes even resort to my old compulsion, which somehow doesnt work anymore as I have stopped believing in it. You cannot engage your belief into it. How long does it take to reach a stage where one can learn to accept their thoughts for what they are? I have tried praying keeping my mind busy and stuff. I am sure you are a good mom don’t let this stop you. I thought I made it out of this hell once and didn’t think I would be back here again . I have OCD and Avoidant Personality Disorder (as a result of my OCD and past bullying). Because OCD involves debilitating doubt and uncertainty, there are many of you out there who are now probably saying, “Well, then I definitely don’t have OCD. Thanks again for helping out !! Or seen/Understood/viewed as a solution to a problem in particular? Could I have possibly been so depressed and felt so doomed that I actually would’ve hurt my baby in an attempt to just “get the inevitable over with? I realize everyone has a story to tell-everyone faces these crazy hard times-I just wish these horrible thoughts and feelings would go away! Those with the more serious and debilitating problems may need to come more than once a week or for a longer period. For some years, it went away… up until I had my child last year, and then I developed post partum psychosis, which exacerbated it. I’m a 19 year old kid and i’ve started to notice that i’ve been having thoughts of beating my girlfriend to death with a rock, and that I noticed today. Praying rituals designed to keep you from acting on an unwanted thought. is this all normal? For these types of questions, there is no perfect answer. I think about killing myself just to dave myself and other people from my thoughts. And I hate it because of the feeling I get and fear that I wont have control and I will just do it. The second is people who say “I saw this movie…”, “played this video game…”, or “read about this news article…”, show how violent sensory input is often the cause/catalyst for their “harm” OCD. I want desperately to help them, but I doubt they’d be willing to seek any therapy. your well behaved kid thinks they lied, swore or cheated. The mind can also be poisoned. Alyssa, don’t overlook the fact that these symptoms are treatable. I am extremely tormented with ocd and have had tons of different.themes and EXTREME anxiety doubt and guilt. This sounds like a reassurance-seeking question to me. and it works, but then I am left feeling weak and helpless and hate myself for not fighting back. What type of dr do you see for this type of OCD. I hope my question is clear, thank you very much sir . Stopped Citalopram few days? It is hard to remember who I was before my mental state has changed but I know that I am an empathetic, caring person who wishes no harm in a single being. There are many good self-help books about OCD that can give you some of the tools you need to reduce your symptoms. Talk it over with your therapist or doctor, who can give you guidance. Where do I go from here? My biggest concern is how to go about this, how do I tell them. Am I turning into a crazy serial killer? Fear of side-swiping and killing a pedestrian or cyclist while you are driving. Fear of pushing/throwing someone down the stairs (e.g., babies). I wonder sometimes if I am the one who will actually lose it it’s very scary. ?” Do I want to do it, can I do it?! But long drawn out torture before I kill them. So I’ll repeat what I said at the top. These symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) involve the fear of harming or killing other people. Avoidance of the police and other security personnel. As with all forms of OCD, violent/harm obsessions are reinforced through compulsive behaviors (rituals) and avoidance. I believe this fear developed in aggressive obsession although I have yet to see a therapist or be diagnosed. I see these thoughts in the most graphic and disturbing way possible, and then I can’t get them out of my head. i am pitiful to my family.i just want to die.i am afraid of what if law of attraction works. If “urges” or “impulses” would be the most terrifying symptom, then the person’s symptoms may take this form. All this information was very helpful . I recovered by firstly, simply telling my doctor. I also take lexapro. I love my family so much and I have pray rituals all the time to fix myself…I’m afraid to take any meds… I have Harm OCD for 3 years. The more consistently you do this, the more quickly your symptoms will improve. She was rewarded by this professional reporting her to state protective services who then promptly investigated her with an eye to removing her child from her home. Is there anything I can do to avoid getting sucked into despair when these thoughts strike suddenly or is it something that is expected? My aim is heal as best as I can because as I said this has put a block on my grieving process as well. All of the articles I can find are directed at those that have harm obsession, not for those close to them. My dad has ocd in the form of checking things over and over, etc and my came in the other form. But for about three weeks, I’ve been having awful thoughts about losing control and killing/hurting someone. Moreover, if the person engages in a lot of mental checking or analyzing rituals around these symptoms, then these symptoms will persist and/or strengthen. video games) have become so realistic, violent, and frequent that it is more likely than ever to poison ones mind. It makes young women and men think they must look a certain way. Since then I learned about OCD and its many faces. I love them so much, why is this happening? I thought I was the ONLY one. I seem to have these thoughts more so when I lay down to sleep and its like I’m afraid that I am going to have them so I try to psych myself into not having them which just causes me to have them. Wanna hear me rattle off some of my weird OCD intrusive thoughts? It’s your environment that is not normal. I have never ever experienced this ever in my entire life. I am still sitting here thinking…was there ever a chance that I could have just gone through with this? Best regards, Raluca-Ioana! OCD only reports on feared consequences that are important to a person. OCD takes the form of whatever would be most shocking or unacceptable to the person with OCD. So far, no one has been able to provide me any solutions aside from the seemingly programmed response of ‘Go to a doctor’ I would be grateful for any advice. He is the executive director of Western Suffolk Psychological Services in Huntington, Long Island, New York, a private treatment group specializing in OCD and O-C related problems. Hi I’m just seing if all these bad thoughts of hurting people and myself is normal after a death my nan died in June this year who was my closest person ever she was my angel and I looked after her with my mum for 5 years as she had dementia but to watch her die do fast at the end was horrific for me but about 2 months after her death I started having those horrible thoughts of really hurting my family wich I would never ever actually do or my self wich I have done I have 4 amazing gorgeous children and I’m pregnant with our miricale baby now the thoughts go for a week or two but then out of nowhere a thought like go and choke him there or stab her there pop into my head I would never do it I love my family so much I do everything for them I’m so so scared tho who do I turn to without being judged as mental and risk my children. For others on this site reading mine and others posts who have harmful, aggressive, awful OCD, you are not alone!!!! I experience a combination of Harm/Aggression and Sexual Obsessions, whereby my intrusive thoughts focus solely on sexual violence (cannibalism, rape, necrophilia, etc). I asked them to start locking their doors and I too would lock the doors-scared that I might kill or hurt them! Hood (or any random shooter) could shoot up a place…as a human being, what’s to stop me from doing the same. Upon return they came right back. I answered no to the second question but I’m still unsure even though I know I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’m glad to hear that you’re getting some help with your OCD! These thoughts can be about anything … I have overcome all of the feelings, except for when driving, my husband has to take me ever where. Expect the unexpected — you can have an obsessive thought any time or any place. But I told her I just wanted to c how I would do on taking the cymbalta 30. I think of loosing my home and my dog. Thank you for the well written Artical. These thoughts have become to consume me that when Im around my loved ones I intentionally avoid contact because I feel that my hands will do something to hurt them. OCD is the fear network of the brain sending a signal that something is wrong and needs to be done about it IMMEDIATELY. Well, the fact that you came here to post about your thoughts shows that part of you acknowledges that these acts are wrong and you want help. I have never been more relieved in my life as i was when i found this page. I has helped answer a lot of my confusion on what goes on in my head. I have great relations with loved ones but everyone else I come across I fear if they do bad I could kill them if I had no self control, what if my self control dispersers. Some of these might sound textbook because I have researched my thoughts but the above mentioned are common thoughts I have and are very concerning because we are trying to start a family. Always agree with all obsessive thoughts — never analyze or argue with them. Not afraid of getting caught but have vision of my son and needing to protect from with everything I have. 2. So the scenario might go…my baby cries, I have an intrusive thought because I am actively trying not to. But even if none of those doctors work for you, you can try calling different offices and specifically asking about their background in treating your daughter’s kind of OCD. I have had this since I was 12 and it is so convincing I keep thinking I will have to get myself locked away in a mental hospital just to make sure my family are safe, feel I have had a nervous breakdown, cannot cope anytime I get angry and feel I am about to lose everything because of this. I have read each comment and am praying for each of you today. I crave the suffering of others. I honestly believe my OCD and yours can be cured, but im sure I can speak for alot of us that life is not enjoyable when you have thoughts of stabbing your parents and friends, snapping your dogs necks or running over pedestrians with you car. My romantic and sensitive nature says I’m just heartbroken but my past experience and rationale tells me I’m unhealthily obsessing and reality is confused. I’m looking for reassurance but that doesn’t last long. Avoidance of being alone with children, pets, the elderly, or other vulnerable populations. I mean what the fcuk? i ask my self why cant I just be a normal person. Mind you, in the animal topic, even films or videos of animals being hurt or suffering make me sick…. Really appreciate your reply. I would strongly suggest that you pursue treatment. You are some of the strongest people out there but you don’t see it because of the emotional part we live. I like to tell my patients “You can’t be bored and scared at the same time.” The ultimate goal is total immersion so that exposure takes place in a variety of ways throughout the day. Look it up. We’ll see what tomorrow brings. Is it linked thanks . I’m struggling right now with intrusive thoughts as well I’m scared I’m gonna act on them one day or become crazy person I also have images of being in jail from hurting people it’s scares me a lot. When most of my patients begin treatment, they believe that they may be insane and that no one else could think as crazily as they do. Thank you for this post, as it relieves me from the stress of all these thoughts and intrusive, violent images that may come to my mind, especially regarding loved ones around me. I always stay away from people as much as I can and don’t get near people or weapons . Prob a lot psychosomatic stuff, Ive been having these disturbing thoughts for 2 years now. I no longer spend my days thinking about murdering people. When i felt normal i wondered why even worried about that. and recently we had to put my dog of 6years down i had to make the decision to do it now i feel like i murdered my best friend and he was the one thing that helped my harmful intrusive thoughts. I realy want to cure my illnes 100% thanks. and what do you mean by “developing a new relationship with these unwanted, intrusive thoughts?” i also have anxiety, depression, and ptsd, and the fears mostly arise at night. The physical feeling is the same as I felt when I couldn’t fight the murder thoughts. 3. the little voice in my head keeps telling me hat i want to kill, and thats its inevitable. I’ve had numerous homicidal and suicidal OCD thoughts over the last year and a half about friends and family members and it’s very disturbing. Another thing my brain tells me is that OCD is a woman thing because not a lot of men are present in comment sections seeking help such as this one. Although the number of people who suffer from this type of OCD is still not exactly clear, it is probably more common than most people think. I have been going through a living hell the past 3 years, I wouldnt wish what goes on in my head to my worst enemy. Finally, I would like to share some rules that my patients find helpful in dealing with violent thoughts and other forms of OCD: There is a common myth that violent obsessions (and even obsessions in general) are harder to treat than other types of symptoms. This post will focus on aggressive obsessions that involve the fear of harming or killing other people. And they said that it looks like I am having anxiety and some ocd symptoms. We often think of poison as being some substance that in some way enters the body to cause physical harm. Talk it over with your doctor. I am deeply saddened that so many good people suffer with this. Another problem these sufferers seem to be burdened with is a nagging doubt that causes them to ask themselves, “What kind of person am I that could think such thoughts? You all are already showing courage and boldness by writing in here. I love you all!!!! I feel like I actually want to kill them. Even if you know why people generally commit murder, that information is not going to be fully satisfying to you, as there are always exceptions to any rule. My bad thoughts are not attached to anger. It was almost as if hearing the doctor (and googling constantly about it) helped me to realize I wouldn’t act and that I wasn’t a sociopath or anything. Some report thoughts of hitting pedestrians, ramming their cars into bridge abutments on the highway, or steering into the path of oncoming traffic. I don’t want these thoughts in my head how can I get them out thanks. The first time I got my intrusive thoughts it actually made me sick to my stomach and i threw up. I’ve tried everything, even separating from my family. I feel fine until that feeling. I want it to stop. I have a feeling it’s not OCD. Thank you all and I hope you guys fine solutions as well. When I am holding a knife/hammer around someone, I get the horrible imagine in my head of stabbing/smashing the other person in the back. Remember that dealing with your symptoms is your responsibility alone. Thank you for this post. My mind has been acting really weird and creepy somewhere last year and I’ve been getting these unwanted impulses which freaked me out because I thought I was becoming a psychopath even though I don’t have any symptoms of becoming/being one. Hi I have these harmful/killing thoughts too and when I have those thoughts I always feel scared and I hate evil thoughts it scares me and I feel sad and anxious, but I know in my heart and brain that I will never do these evil things like killing people etc. any ideas would be helpful. My therapist isn’t helping I pray and I also keep my mind busy like a draw and do magic. Sometimes when they pop in my head I question my self and wonder if thjs js what I want. I don’t sleep. Well last week my anxiety had become pretty bad- not sleeping well and feeling gloomy because the weather has been pretty dreary. And every comment I saw a beautiful heart that is complete opposite of what is going on in the brain. How lucky I was to have a doctor who was well informed and explained what was happening. I’ve started having thoughts of killing my grandmother and cat. I do have ocd. I have been dealing with anxiety and intrusive thoughts for the past three or four months. It stretched out to my father who is also quite strong… Needless to say though, this is my family I live with and I love them. This may not be as easy as it sounds, especially in the face of really repulsive violent thoughts. What can I do to let it go? The content of this website is for general information purposes only and does not constitute therapy, treatment, or the establishment of a psychologist-client relationship. Thank you for sharing. And I feel selfish as I know many others have REAL issues to deal with, i.e illness etc. I know that if they were gone, I’d miss them terribly. Well ive recently learnt my mums having an affair with this security guard at her work. I am sorry, I really feel for you all, I wish, like everyone that there is a quick cure and the reason behind all of this will one day be figured out and noone else has to endure such pain. and I didn’t know what is happening to me . That was last year, and I recovered. ... i do know i tend to be a perfectionist in anything i do no matter how serious i want it to be perfect but intrusive thoughts are killing my head all the time. I have seen a pyschatrist and she diagnosed me as depression, unwanted/intrusive thoughts and OCD. Sometimes I randomly break down and cry and i’m so terrified that I’m going to kill my girlfriend, who i love more than anything in the world. I couldn’t even look at knives or any sharp object because i would almost go into a complete panic attack. Any advice? After that i just kept it to myself. And is it good if I manage by myself to stop these thoughts to come and scare me? Thank you so much! I’m grateful for this website as its helped me a lot today. That’s the problem with using any type of specific question or criteria in order to differentiate between OCD and some specific feared situation.
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